Don t let go of the end! 3 Things that caretaker Chen Yiru learned from the destiny patient

Editor: Under the system of Anning ward, cancer ward, and Anning care, the role of a caregiver is to accompany the patient to obtain spiritual peace and provide comfort for the family. Chen Yiru, the whole person concerned, shared with "50+", what kind of worries do people have at the end of their lives? And what is the last class of life she learned from the deceased patients?

One day, we had to face the question of end and death, how can the final journey of life be filled?

"If life is less than one year left, what is your most desire to do?" In a sharing session on spiritual concerns, Chen Yiru, the whole-person concerned, talked about death with the public while laughing. Someone at the scene said he wanted to make peace with his family who was quarreling, and some wanted to play all the way. Chen Yiru replied to them: "Then you don't have to wait until the last year, and you can do it now! We have to see the end of life at any time so that we will not regret it too late."

The caregiver is accompanied by the patient and the patient's heart and soul are also caring for the family.

The word "concert" seems very strange, and may appear at the last moment of everyone's life. Chen Yiru, who went out of the ward to visit the patient and his family, or went to the community to help the patient's family, described the inquisitive: "We sometimes are like the patient's spiritual instructors, giving spiritual comfort and care, but will not teach the patient what to do; sometimes it is a seeking knowledge. A student with strong desire to know and understand the patient and let the patient teach you what life is like? What kind of mood does he feel about death? Sometimes he is just a companion, walking side by side with the endorse and supporting each other to walk the last mile of his life. ”

Like to establish profound relationships with people. When he first left society to serve as a nurse, Chen Yiru chose to serve in Anning ward. "At that time, I often couldn't understand the real needs of the patient. For example, the patient complained that he couldn't sleep well, and asked the doctor to turn on sleeping medicine. Later, I realized that the patient was spiritual. Because the bed next door changed three people in a week, the patient was worried that he would be sent away and felt uneasy. . ”

Want to more comprehensively understand and help patients get physical and mental peace, Chen Yiru went to the UK to celebrate the peace and medical treatment. After returning to China, she served as a full-person counselor at the Catholic Kangtai Medical Education Foundation. In addition to the hospital, she also entered the community to help critically ill patients with spiritual concern and family sorrow.

When encountering the death question, this job should be very stressful, right? Chen Yiru smiled and said that it would not be possible, "Because the emotions and hearts of the end patients are very real, they do not have the strength and time to wear masks and behave politely, so that I can see and learn everyone's unique appearance and life story."

Don't let go of the end and let him teach you the last lesson of life

Initiative patients not only have to face the problem of death, but also have more complex spiritual needs, and need to find the final peace of life through the help of the caregiver.

For example, the endors often face the feeling of loneliness of "nobody knows", and often shout in their hearts: "Why is the person who is sick?" or they are furious when facing family concerns: "You are not me, how can you understand my feelings!" These are all due to emotional reactions caused by dramatic striking due to death.

However, family members or friends often say "to let go", but it is heavier and more excited when hearing the endorsement. "Telling the patient to cheer or let go, it is actually not very good to be able to agree with his mood, or it is indirectly expressed that it seems that his "can't let go" and "sweeping" are not right." You might as well say directly: "In fact, I don't understand, but I really want to understand ……" Let him teach you the last lesson in life.

As a caregiver, Chen Yiru will pull out like a detective. Facing the patient's inability to let go, she will try to find the reason, such as: "Is I worried about economic problems if I can't let go of my child? Or is it that I am worried about the child's hand when I get married, no one can walk into the ceremony with his hand? Or do I hope that when the child is sad and difficult, there is a maternal role to accompany him?" After the patient's clearance, he further helps the patient deal with the "can't let go" in his heart.

Finding the meaning again Your existence is worthy of being Qinghua

In addition to the ununderstood loneliness, eventually the patient is easily feeling useless, dragging down his family, or thinking that he is just waiting to die now. It is also important to help them find a sense of meaning.

Chen Yiru mentioned a host who had been cared for. She could no longer manage her family after she became ill. The husband was at work, at home and in the hospital. After the child got off class, he had to go to the hospital to take care of her, so he thought he was the pain at home.

Chen Yiru did not directly tell this mother the importance of her and asked her to think about it better; instead, she helped her daughter to get back to the sick mother after understanding her mother's frustration: The daughter said that she actually liked to come to the hospital to accompany her mother and cherished this time, because her mother was busy with family when she was at home, and now she could sit on the bed and chat and talk, as if she was back to the feeling of telling the story on the bed when she was a child.

"For children, the role of mothers does not mean to do something for the family. The mother's situation is more important. Children now cherish the ups and downs of life with their mothers, and the patient also regained the value of life's existence."

The end of life is not waiting to try to find out the hope for the present

Sometimes when you encounter a long-term illness or cancer relocation, the patient may lose the power to survive and fall into hope. The caregiver is like a companion. When he feels he is overwhelmed and can't walk, he is with him, allowing him to see the brilliance of life and the dawn before death..

Original text: The endors teach me the most important thing in life! Responsible teacher Chen Yiru: An accident will come anytime, don’t wait for whatever you want to do