Let s make an appointment next time, and I will definitely come by then! Can t tell what is compensation? Psychologists teach the courage to resist

When you leave society, you often can’t tell what is compensation? What is the truth? If someone invites you, you believe it is sincere; if someone promises you, you firmly believe that you will have a day of success. Lin Cuifen, a professional advisor psychologist, mentioned in his book "Insight into the Heart from Speaking" (published in Times): However, after many disappointing experiences, I finally learned that some words are purely remuneration, and their meaning is the same as "hello" and there is no real meaning. In the Chinese dictionary, a comment was given on "compensation": the words that are virtually spoken, such as "that's just some compensation, and cannot be true." The Chinese dictionary not only talks about what "compensation" is, but also tells us that "the right thing to do is not true."

Lin Cuifen supplements the most social remuneration words so far, one sentence is: "I will call you again." The other sentence is: "No problem, I will definitely come by then." Don't underestimate the power of these two sentences. It makes many people feel distracted, how many people have failed, and how many people have been beaten.

FAQ 1: I will call you again for a while. As long as I leave my seat, no matter if it is five minutes in the entrance hall, I will buy it for fifteen minutes, and it will take one or two hours. , when she came back, she would ask her colleagues, "Do you have my phone number?" Seeing that she was distracted, everyone thought of various ways to guide her to tell her the reason. Xiao Ru always spoke easily. She said with a heartache: "It was just a ceremony to pay homage to heaven, and met a boyfriend, and he told me, "I will call you tomorrow." However, I have not received his phone call now."

At this time, everyone said in a dissatisfaction: "Is this a reward, are you true?" But what's amazing is that after a few disappointments, many people seem to have discovered the wonderful use of this sentence, and they often speak out without thinking when they say something. A friend's answer is very reasonable because this is more explanation. Just saying "Goodbye" seems too perfunctory. If you add another sentence, "I'll call you again." As a congratulation, everyone will break up with peace of mind. Therefore, the next time I hear this sentence, I will treat it as a kind of "good morning" and "good night". I don't need to be too serious, so as not to fly away in the tide of "expectation" and "disappointment", and it will be difficult to get ups and downs.

Frequently Asked Questions 2: At that time, I will definitely come to hold an event every time. When I call the invitation, I can probably hear this sentence: "No problem, I will definitely come by then." My friend Xiao Ding Tong took on an event for the first time in his life, when he encountered such a big case as the company's 10th anniversary reception. On the day of the drinking party, the little Dings turned around like a top, because many celebrities who promised that "I will definitely come by then" never appeared. In order to avoid opening the skylight of the speech, Xiao Ding kept shuttled through the crowd. As long as he saw anyone who could speak, he immediately rushed to the stage to speak. After the drinks, Xiao Ding Ding was still puzzled and stood in the corner of the meeting and muttered, "They clearly said that they will definitely come by then! Why would this happen?"

When they left the society, they were the same as Xiao Ding Ding Ding. If someone said "I will definitely come by then", they felt that the other party "should be here", otherwise they would just have a good appointment or say nothing. However, I wouldn't be so naive now. I would think from a different perspective. The other party probably didn't have time to go to the contract before he would use this sentence as a wrig. Many people know that receptions and reporters will invite a lot of valuables to participate, but most of the invitees will think, "I'm not alone anyway." So, they will just answer first, go when they have time, and forget about not having time. This answer is much better than resolutely causing the other party to feel frustrated.

Therefore, if you have to ask this valuable word, you cannot just say "I will definitely arrive by then" and think that you have achieved your mission; you must also expose the spirit of the three-pointed Mao Su, call the phone to invite the other party first, and then send an invitation letter to show caution. In the end, you still need to call to remind the other party.

In addition, you also need to inform the other party of "the role played" in advance. Is it a purely expensive or a Taiwanese vocabulary? Is there any car charge? What preparations should be made? You must make sure that the other party will arrange your invitation in the "no cancellation at a time" trip, so that you can safely announce the prize list.

Personality traits for talking about remuneration Many people who love remuneration belong to the "good-talking" personality and are worried about offending others. Even if they have already included the other party in the "no longer contact" list, they still show their enthusiasm and tribute on their mouths. Some people are also afraid of ambiguous conflicts and only seek "surface harmony", regardless of whether the other party will be hurt.

Some people also have difficulty in rejecting others. "Rejecting others" is equivalent to "destroying relationships", so they can "break their trust" and do not want to refuse directly. Some people hope that things will always have room for "change"; to look at things better, they are "very flexible", to look at things worse, they are "lack of principles". Sometimes, the more they want the best of both worlds, the easier it is to be difficult to be a human being.

Change theories: To change "compensation" to "speaking one's own difficulties" requires great courage to speak to someone who is not good at rejecting others in person. After rejecting the other party, the emotional backlash was strong and merciless. He attacked him: "I don't understand the principles of being a human being." He said that it would have a reverse effect, and he dared not refuse others from now on. Therefore, if you want to fight the "rejection courage", you might as well adopt the "system sensitivity reduction method" in the behavioral school, that is, you will go step by step, start from close family members, and even if you are rejected, you will not be too shocked. Then you will slowly practice more trustworthy friends, and then gradually expand to ordinary friends.

When practicing "rejection skills", you must be determined and your language should be friendly.. If you want to reduce your anxiety, you might as well remind yourself silently in your heart: "I did not refuse the other party, I just refused this invitation." Gradually breaking the idea that "rejecting others is equivalent to destroying the relationship." Rejecting invitations or requests from others will avoid encountering "human pressure". When the other party begs, "Please give me a face." Or in a voice that says, "I know, you are the best and will not disappoint me."

At this time, you can first "a polite way of being a good person." Apologize, add "the reason that cannot be answered": "Sorry, I just had an important meeting that day. Thank you for your enthusiastic invitation." Don't explain the reasons too much and too long to avoid giving people the impression of "making excuses"; if you are moved by the other party's words, it will be even more difficult to refuse others in the future.

This article records: "Insight into people's hearts from words: Understand the other person's psychology, speak the words just right, and easily learn about human relations"

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