Through the experience of consulting, it was found that most men think that when their emotions are broken, they mostly think that as long as they are not discovered, psychologically, some men will feel that it is purely an accident or just a one-ti...
Through the experience of consulting, it was found that most men think that when their emotions are broken, they mostly think that as long as they are not discovered, psychologically, some men will feel that it is purely an accident or just a one-time explanation, and they have not invested too much emotion, so they can be original. In his new book "Insight into the hearts of people from affair: Time-care and Rebuilding Trust", professional advisor psychologist Lin Cuifen, in his new book "Insight into the heart from an affair: Creating and Rebuilding Trust", when men experience emotional recurrence, they receive less interference in work or life. They can clearly distinguish between public and private, and have sex. This is why many men have a good relationship with their partners, but they will have an affair. Men's affair begins to suffer from misfortunes, mostly because third parties have more and more demands on them, and the pressure of the other party's desire for secrecy and promise is getting greater and greater. The other party wants to change the game rules that interact with each other. At this time, the man is forced to communicate with the other party and cannot enjoy the relationship of happiness alone.
It is like watching different cities, you can enjoy different emotions and adjust the scenery, climb different mountains, you can gain different natural lights, pursue different women, you can get different life interests, like to conquer various difficult lovers, not only feel their own value, but also have a variety of experience and happiness. After seeing too many male emotional behaviors, you can roughly describe the following types.
1. People who use "sexual conquest" to enhance their "self-view" many people are proud to complete tasks or help others solve problems by challenging higher difficulties. However, some people choose to enhance their self-image through "sexual conquest", showing their masculine aura through sexual love and trying to get their lover deep into love. Once they are sure that the other party has completely surrendered, they may endure to break up and feel their strength from the other party's pain. This type of men enjoys the feeling of conquest, loves to show off their trophy and find satisfaction in the admiration and jealousy of others.
2. Affair reconstruction of male male style. Research and investigation abroad has found that the proportion of male affair earned less than that of a companion, or economically relying on partner support is the highest, with a high chance of 15%. The reason is that they will threaten the potential "male image" when they get money from their partner. In order to revive male male style, affair is one of the methods.
3. People who treat lovers as toys The biggest feature of people who treat lovers as toys is that as long as new toys appear, they have to find a way to get one to play with. If it is fun, they will play for a long time. If it is not fun, they will switch to another game. To them, since lovers are toys, of course, the more types there are, the better, and the more exciting the gameplay is. When you hold a toy or shopping, your mindset and interact with your lover is reflected in your behavior, you will naturally like a new person and love each other. It is hard to expect them to cherish other people's feelings and respect other people's feelings.
4. People suffering from "sexual affinity" usually have a series of common symptoms: constantly thinking about the destruction, hiding family and friends, feeling the urgent need, and increasing tolerance in time, similar to the need for gradually increasing doses of drugs or alcoholics. These symptoms can have a serious impact on individuals’ relationships and bring great pain when trying to quit. Many people with "sexual love disorders" don't even know themselves, let alone why they form such behavior patterns.
5. People who are in middle-aged crisis and psychological rebelliousness often have a psychological crisis. Suddenly, at a certain moment in life, they are stimulated or activated by a certain event. They feel that their first half of their lives are living for others. Now they have the best responsibilities and decide to pursue their desires and desires. The energy of middle-aged rebellion is very strong, and it often destroys the family and even makes up all past efforts.
6. People who are engaging in "emotional risks" say to those who lack security, they always tend to disperse risks in making friends and falling in love, and avoid putting all their dependence on the same person. For example, I have a friend who had dated six girlfriends at the same time before joining the army, so as to ensure that even if one of them was changed, he still had other lovers to rely on. His idea is that it is unlikely that all six girlfriends will change their minds at the same time. However, when he was discharged from the army, these six stable relationships made him feel stressed and troubled because he needed to maintain his relationship with these girlfriends at the same time.
7. There is also a kind of person who doesn't know how to refuse to be stingy on purpose, because he doesn't know how to reject other people's feelings, which makes more and more lovers, and in the end, it won't be possible to deal with it. This is the situation with a friend. When he opened his head, a girl confessed to him. If he was shocked, he decided to be friends with the other party first and then slowly think about it. Unexpectedly, the other party fell deeper and deeper, and he felt very involved with the other party, but his original girlfriend was also very gentle to him. In fact, there was no excuse to break up, and he thought hard all day long how to deal with it. He once did not dare to reject other people's feelings, and at the same time, he took in nine girlfriends at the same time, which made him almost collapsed.
8. When the other person who reports the other party does not cooperate or is unwilling to have a close relationship, some people will choose to use emotional outreach to balance their desires and needs. Some people also attempt to punish the other party by having an affair because their partner did something wrong.
9. People who often interact with each other may start with frequent exchanges and act on occasions, but gradually act in a real way and develop feelings with the partner who interacts with each other..
10. Freud, a person with "motherhood" or "excessive aversion to anal period", believes that each of us "sexuality" is related to the development of the anal period in childhood. If parents' teaching methods are too relaxed at this stage, children will easily fall into the dilemma of excessive desire in the future. In addition, the "maternal relationship" arises from the triangular relationship between individuals and their parents in their childhood will also affect their "sexuality" in the future. This unsatisfactory potential conspiracy may lead to men having an affair later. A female friend I met had an affair that destroyed her heart. Without being prepared, she accidentally discovered that her mother had an affair with her husband. The husband also proudly stated that she was helping her to meet her mother's sexual needs. If the husband did not meet her mother's sexual desire, the mother would have an affair.
11. Self-deprecating men who are extremely eager to be popular often believe that all women will fall in love with them involuntarily, so they spend a lot of time and energy to dress themselves up to attract sexual attention. Their focus is mainly on "self-expression" and "being loved", and they rarely consider other people's feelings and do not care about others. Therefore, when they step on multiple boats, they will not feel that this will cause harm to others; in their opinion, relationships between men and women are a natural attraction process, but once they attract the other party, they can end the relationship at any time. On the surface, I seem to be passionate, but I actually love myself. They need other people's acceptance and love to confirm their self-worth, and can only feel self-affirmation when they are welcomed and praised by others.
This article records: "Insight into the heart from an affair: Time-to-life insult and rebuilding trust"
